New Light
by Poshu
Summary: Ryo's memories of his parents come back, it is grief all over again. Can Dee help him or is it just too much? Dee/Ryo. Fluffy.
1. Grandpa

_For a long time I didn't have the courage to post this…_

**Grandpa**

"I..I don't have a real grandfather to give you…" Dee spoke softly as he treaded through the familiar stones. "I wish I had a fortune, or a business empire, or even a name I could give you. I made mine up…" The small bundle in his arms wriggled slightly.

"I wish I could show just how much I love you, baby. I wish I had something that could explain it all."

Brown eyes opened

"I don't have a family to give you either… there's just me and your Daddy, and Bikky and Carol. And Mother of course, but I have no one to present you to. I have no one who would love you and cherish you on the side of your dad and I. I have no one who would resemble you and I that could remind you of our bonds and help ground you to your family or remind you who you have standing with you."Dee followed the beaten path through the cemetery. "I made my family up too, we're all scattered to the winds now… I used to think that never mattered… I had my own kind of family, and people I love. But now I look at you." Dee took a long stare into the brown eyes of the baby in his arms. "And I know it'll never be enough…" He felt his chest get tight as he thought about it.

He had no one who looked like her, except himself. He and Ryo were the only real justification she had. He wondered if there were people wandering this earth that looked like her. And if they ever stopped like this and thought about him and if he survived. And maybe that there was someone like her that was a part of them, somewhere in the world. He imagined estranged people of his family living their own lives away from each other, no one having contact; assuming they all got the same treatment he did. He looked down to the child in his arms. This angel was just born… and yet she had already been robbed of so much. Suddenly Dee was more furious about his past than he had ever been before in his life. It never mattered before when it was just him. He would always just mentally vow to become something great, to surpass them and make it so they didn't matter anymore. He would make a new family and live a happy life, and he had done that, those old wounds were closed; until she came along.

He remembered what Ryo had said about them being all the family she'd need. He was right but it still hurt him.

He loved his daughter all the more for her resemblance to Ryo. The dark irises in her eyes matched nearly perfectly with his. Her skin was pale like his and she even showed the beginnings of his laugh. But when she closed her eyes as she did now, dozing in her father's arms, she looked just like him. Mother had dug up some old photos of Dee from right after he had come to her as a days-old infant. Even through all the bad shots of an unwilling photo subject Dee could still tell the resemblance. Her whole face matched his own; and this won the girl more of his affections. Her dark hair and the alignment of her eyes and nose were dead on. While this was pleasing to him it also ran him down a haunting train of thought. As he wove through more headstones he began to think.

How did it play out before, years ago, when a man or woman had left their baby behind in an alley? Dee looked to his baby and imagined her as himself… sleeping soundly, perfect and quiet while they left him behind. His eyes shot across the grass to the field beyond. There weren't any alleys around here, but he could force the images in his mind to mold: His daughter in the alley, her body hidden by shadows. Passersby cannot see her. Dee stands before her, waiting for confirmation she is asleep so he can step out into the street and get on with his life… he turns to step away… he turns to step away…

He turns…that's as far as he got. He couldn't do it, even in his head. He couldn't imagine leaving his own child behind. Not when she was so precious, and certainly not when she needed him. He tried to think up the motivation his parents might have had. What could have possibly been so important they would turn him away so they could maintain it? What was so horrible about him that they couldn't have both?

He didn't understand it. He didn't know why they did it. He didn't know _how_. He used to believe he was at fault, and then later in his life he thought his parents must have been very evil people, but now with his own child… he knew his parents must have simply felt…nothing. His parents just didn't care. For the first time in his life Dee wasn't filled with self doubt over this, but instead he felt pity and simple resentment. It was their problem and their loss. Because whoever it was that had the balls to ditch him in that alley was missing out on two very fabulous human beings.

"You and Ryo." Dee vocalized. That was alright though, he was more than happy to keep them both to himself.

Dee made it over the crest of a small hill, the headstones coiled around a curve in the path. There were a few trees and flowers growing. He headed for the familiar stone without having to look, instead giving his sleeping daughter his attention.

"Hey Dad." Dee slowly sat down; dropping the empty baby carrier he had been carrying next to him. "How are you doing?" He was answered with silence, as always but the air around him held a little more cheer than before. "Sorry, no whiskey, I brought her this time. She fell asleep on me on the way here; maybe while we're here she'll open her eyes. Dad, their just like Ryo's…" Dee said with awe. The baby moved in her sleep again, Dee watched her and smiled. "I know I didn't introduce Ryo the first time he came, but the little lady can't introduce herself yet… So, this is Mischa Maria Hikari Maclean-Laytner. I know, it's a mouthful, but I wanted her to have a Japanese name. Ryo didn't want one of our last names to become her middle name so he picked that one…"

Dee smiled down again at Mischa, stroking her cheek. "Baby? I want you to meet grandpa."


	2. Grandma

_I am thrilled to see people are enjoying this._

**Grandma**

"Oh, dearie... come here." Mother Lane reached out and took the baby from Dee. "My my, I never get tired of seeing you, love." She cooed to the infant. "Have you picked a name yet?"

"Yes, finally."

"About time, it took you two nearly a week!" Mother Maria scolded. "And I know it was you causing the trouble, I've never known Ryo to be that indecisive."

"It had to be perfect." Dee shrugged, grinning.

"Let's hear it then."

Dee sat forward. "Mischa Maria…" Mother's eyes widened "…Hikari Maclean-Laytner"

"Mischa Maria…?"

"Ryo picked it."

Mother looked back to the sleeping child in her arms; Dee almost missed her eyes misting over.

"Dee, you don't have to name her…"

"I said Ryo picked it. And we named her what we wanted. Don't think it was under some obligation."

"But…still…" Mother Lane Trailed off, now looking at the baby in awe.

"I see you're not averse to the idea…" Dee grinned again. "But I-- we wanted to give her your name… to honor you."

"I don't need any honor." Maria didn't look away from the baby, but a tear rolled down her face.

"Don't try to be proud, of course you do! For being _my _mother? I should have built you a shrine!" Dee teased

"No… this is better." Mother finally looked up, a teary smile on her face. Dee smiled too. "A new life for my son…"

"I want to be as good to her as you were to me."

"I am sure you will be. But what about Ryo's mother? She doesn't get any tribute at all?" She gave Dee a threatening eye. Dee hesitated a moment.

"Ryo's mom was named Haruko…it means 'Sun'."

"Yes?"

"I picked Hikari… it means 'light'."

Mother was quiet for a moment. "Ah I see…does Ryo…?"

"Loves it. The way he put it…'the sun rises and from it, light shines. So because his mother rose and lived her life, Mischa is now able to live hers… or something like that."

"It's a lovely way to put it." She stroked Mischa's thin bangs out of her face "very lovely…My little Mischa." She held the child tighter and her face grew sad.

"Penguin? What's wrong?"

Mother Maria ignored Dee's nickname "I was just thinking, she won't ever get to meet Ryo's mother and father, or your… or Jess for that matter."

"I took her to see Jess before I came here."

"Yes, but I mean in the flesh. I'm…"

"You're all she's got, I know." Dee had an expression somewhere between a smile and a frown. He wanted to be encouraging but it was a dismal thought. "You'll be enough."

"I hope so."

"Her family doesn't have to be here in body, they can love her in spirit as well…"

"Ryo's words?"

"Of course."

"You married a good man, Dee."

Dee smiled brightly "The best in the world."


	3. Daddy

_Sorry guys, got lots of exams this week. _

**Daddy**

It was dark; Ryo was comfortably set against Dee. He was somewhere between sleep and consciousness, though the latter was winning out. He knew he would have to be up soon, but he wanted to just turn over once more and snuggle into Dee and go back to deep sleep. Deep sleep; that was something he had kissed goodbye. For a tiny fraction of a moment he wished things could go back to the way they were before, when he and Dee could sleep in on their days off if they wanted, or keep each other up all night, when it didn't matter. He knew he didn't mean it and that sleep was such a small price to pay…

It wasn't the only price, certainly. There was time and energy and of course literal 'prices'. She hadn't become too terribly expensive yet, but Dee had made jokes about the two of them, between Bikky and Mischa, being 'broke until they retired'. Ryo had just shrugged 'well, what can you do?'. She was getting bigger by the day and soon she'd be racing through clothing sizes and different types of food. Ryo had inheritance still saved that could soften the blow but he was determined not to use it, but save it for something special. What special thing? Who knew, but he and Dee made enough money to keep Mischa's belly full so they didn't bother with it yet.

Almost on cue a hoarse cry began from the small room next door. Ryo rose quickly, not waiting for Dee to roll over and do it. Dee had been up with her non-stop for the past few days and it was his turn. He got up softly so not to rouse Dee and quickly went into the small nursery next to their bedroom. "Alright sweetheart, tell Daddy all about it." He could tell already from her cry that she was hungry. He scooped her up and headed for the kitchen, speaking soothingly in her ear. Just being held calmed her some, but she would start back up with the wailing if she wasn't fed soon. Ryo plucked one of the already prepared bottles from the fridge, set it in the microwave, tested it on his wrist, and popped it into his daughter's mouth. She drank greedily, nearly finishing it.

"My, my, ravenous tonight are we?" Ryo chuckled when she finally pushed the nipple away. He set the bottle in the sink, to be dealt with tomorrow morning. Grabbing a rag he headed to Mischa's nursery. He had to admit, despite being tired, he loved taking care of her in the night for two reasons. The moonlight through her window was picturesque, a single beam softly illuminating her crib, and the chair. When she was born, his aunt and uncle gave him his mom and dad's rocking chair. When his parents died his aunt swiped it from their house and draped it with a cozy at hers so no one would recognize it. It worked for over twelve years. When Mischa came along she unveiled it and brought it to him. He had been on the verge of tears when he saw it, that old chair from their den that had once been in his nursery. It was rather old, an antique when his parents purchased it, but he loved it. He was delighted to have something from his parents to nurse his own child in.

He sat down, slowly rocking back and forth. Mischa's eyes were getting heavy; he moved her up to his shoulder and patted her back. He closed his eyes and felt the rhythm of their swaying. It brought back old memories, once he sat in it again for the first time they all came flooding back to him. He never expected to see those old mental images again…it was something he had to deal with and thank the gods he had Dee there for him. Had it not been for that man he probably could never have actually used the chair. He would have avoided it and skirted around it as much as possible to escape having to deal with his grief all over again. Dee had gotten him to move on, to approach his memories as happy times and not as heralds of woe.

Ryo laid his head back, Mischa now finished, and remembered sitting in his mother's lap. He had skinned his knees, was frightened, and was crying; he had to have been about 3 or 4. She had rocked him and sang to him until he calmed down. It was his comfort song, some lullaby she had brought from her own childhood in Japan. He himself didn't remember the exact translation, some story about a young country boy or something. He hadn't cared about the meaning at the time; his mother's voice was the key ingredient. He remembered other times she sang it… when he was going to sleep, when he was mad, she often sang in the kitchen too. Not that song, but others. How could he have blocked out such wonderful memories? His parents' deaths had really taken their toll.

He came out of his reverie to catch himself humming the song, he was surprise he remembered the tune well enough. There was no one around so he decided to go for it, his memory surprisingly good. Japanese characters running through his mind as the foreign song rolled off his tongue. Other memories came back to him, his dad listening to the same song as it was sung. His mother teaching him kanji, she had snuck in a message by teaching him "Cute" then "beautiful" then "boy". He had turned to her and giggled, while she returned a look of glowing love. He had ignored it at the time, but now he could imagine the thoughts running through her head at that moment. He looked down to the now sleeping baby in his arms, snuggled against his chest, and wondered if he had been any bit as perfect to his mother as Mischa was to him.


	4. Brother

_**A/N**__ 'Eyy what's up? I have so much stuff to do! Anyone else busy this time of year? Yeah…gonna pretend like someone's actually going to answer that. This is the big turning point in my story and I hope you all stay with me through it. It's a bit long, but then I _always_ liked long chapters… more to enjoy._

_Anywho, let's get on with it._

_Please read and review._

**Brother**

"Does she have to cry _all_ the time?" Bikky moaned to Ryo, fingers in his ears. Ryo scarcely looked up as he headed to the small bassinette in the living room.

"It's the only language she has right now, Bikks. Be patient with her." Ryo knelt down, tending to the screaming baby. Bikky was extremely grateful Dee and Ryo didn't speak to her in baby talk, that probably would be all he could take. The last thing he needed was for Mischa to start talking in 'goo-goo's and 'ga-ga's. What was he going to be, 'bubby'? At least his foster parents spoke to her like a normal person.

"Alright, whatever." he headed out the front door into the hallway. The door tapped closed behind him, he wondered if Ryo had heard it or if he was too involved with his new 'sister' to notice. He shook his head, remembering Ryo was far too skilled a cop not to notice something so simple, hell he notices _everything_ about him. But he still thought that with Dee, Mischa, and himself on his shoulders that Ryo would begin to slip.

He was relieved to notice that you couldn't hear Mischa's crying from the hallway. Sure, the one other guy on this floor knew they had a baby, he seemed alright enough. He was across the building though so it didn't really matter. Dee had talked with the landlord and bought out the next door apartment before this whole baby thing even happened. Bikky had suspected they had planned it but after the paternity tests… no one could have planned that… no one could have _done_ that.

It had been months since Dee and Ryo had paternity tests done for Mischa. Someone at the precinct got word they had a baby and said something… The way Ryo had put it, it was simple gossip. Bikky guessed the wrong person heard it and suddenly it was a lot of questions aimed at them. Where did she come from? She looked an awful lot like Dee, was she a surrogate? They adopted her formally, right? Truth is though, they hadn't. It was a very long and weird story. One day the Perv and Ryo came home from one of their big cases with her. They said they had found her at the sight, she had no one around that recognized her and none of the culprits they arrested had any idea about her. Sure Bikky was put off but he knew she wasn't staying. Ryo called ACS and the baby disappeared within the hour.

He didn't think any more about it. But sure enough…of course it would work out… ACS has to place all unclaimed children into an orphanage. The better facility they can snag for a child the happier they are with their work. And, despite its location, Mother Lane just _happens_ to run one of the best. The perfection of the situation almost annoyed Bikky all over again. They were on an ordinary visit and Mother happened to be attending to her. She caught Dee's eye immediately. It surprised Bikky for a guy who said he hated kids to be so damn _interested_ in one. He and Ryo were asking all kinds of questions: How was she doing? What was ACS saying? Were there any signs of her family? Bikky stopped listening after that. He found his friends in the orphanage and decided to ignore his foster fathers.

Things changed after that visit though. Bikky noticed that, soon enough, that baby became a regular part of their visits when they went to see Mother and the kids. Dee and Ryo wanted to go over there more often because of her. They talked about her when they weren't over there. The insane thing was that the PERV was in on all this too! The Perv, who hated kids! Bikky knew that was all bullshit since he cared so much for the kids in his orphanage. But it was still so…weird. It all came to a head, in Bikky's book, when he finally gave an outburst about it. They were in the car, Ryo and the Perv had gotten off as Bikky's school let out so Ryo insisted on picking him up; a usual ruse to keep him from 'getting into trouble' on the way home, Bikky knew it. They asked him how his day went and all the usual chit-chat then it went back to her. That damn baby.

"I wonder if someone has come to take her home yet." Dee mused

"I wonder what they named her." Ryo seemed deeper in thought "Hopefully something that fits her personality." He smiled "We all know she certainly has one!" Dee chuckled too, probably a sign of some inside joke or a 'you had to be there' deal. Bikky got fed up.

"Why don't you two just adopt her!? You know you want to!"

Both men went silent and Bikky went back to his Gameboy. Maybe he had touched a nerve; Ryo was very silent the rest of the trip. Dee spoke a little but that was all. For most of the trip Bikky felt high on himself, maybe he had said something to annoy them as much as they had annoyed him. But on the last legs of the drive he started to think he had maybe done something wrong. On the way inside Ryo asked him about what he wanted for dinner so he wasn't in the doghouse but...

It was later, after Ryo and the Perv had supposedly gone to bed that Bikky gave up on sleep, just one of those nights. He left his room, contemplating spending the night with his Playstation or Xbox in the living room.

"What are you doing up, Brat?" he stopped dead in his tracks. There went those thoughts, Bikky inwardly groaned.

"Same to you, Perv."

"Couldn't sleep. That makes two of us?"

Bikky grunted.

"I wouldn't try playing your games tonight kiddo, Ryo and I have to be up early."

"I can stop early."

"Sure, that's what happened last time he caught you."

Bikky grunted again and stepped into the kitchen, "…umm." Better get it over quick.

"What? You sick or something?" Dee eyed him skeptically.

"I'm… sorry about what I said in the car…"

"Ehh?" the dark man made a weird face.

"Aren't you out here because of what I said? I can't imagine you passing up time with Ryo."

Dee smirked "Well that may be true, but truth be told I was actually considering it…" Dee stared off into space.

"What?...That baby? Don't tell me _I_ gave you the idea!"

"Yeah right, like I need to get my ideas from a prepubescent little scrub like you! And you should have paid attention to what came out of your mouth if you thought that was the case!"

Bikky just glared.

"I didn't get it from you, I've actually been thinking about it for a long time now."

"That's weird for you to just come out and say it."

"You'd rather I beat around the bush?"

"No, I'd rather you not do it at all."

"What have you got against her?" Dee looked a little annoyed.

"What's gotten you so _into_ her?"

Dee sighed "Come see her with us next time, Bikks, you'll see."

"Sure like that'll ever happen." Bikky turned to the direction of his room

"You never know." He could hear Dee smiling behind him. He fought the urge to slam his door shut.

***

He woke the next day to voices. Dee and Ryo were having words, not angry words, but very important ones from what he could tell in their tone. He quickly dressed and snuck out of his room to get in on the action. There was little point in hiding; he knew they both could sense him, unless they were so into what they were talking they weren't paying attention. He was banking on that as he tucked himself next to the cabinet just before the kitchen doorway.

"No… there isn't a family looking for her…no one is coming for that baby… Because that baby is ours. If we don't go get her then no one will… No" he suddenly changed his tone "there _are_ people who will come for her." Dee's voice was strong with resolve.

"Glad you understand." Ryo picked up his jacket off the kitchen chair. "What's all this about being ours?"

"She's part of me Ryo, she's part of us! Don't try to deny it; I know you feel it too!"

"Dee what are you talking about." Ryo stated it, didn't ask.

"There is a family looking for her, one that should be going to get her… that's _us_ Ryo!" Dee hopped out of his chair, hands slapping down on the table, his eyes burning with intensity. "She's ours and you know it! She always was!"

"What are you saying, Dee?"

"Let's call of work today! Just you, me, and Bikky let's go get her."

"Dee, you know we can't just walk in and do that. There are test periods and papers to sign and background checks to do."

"Then let's go get started!" Dee hit the table again, he wasn't angry, but the energy flowing from him had never been so alive. "She _is_ ours but you know how she is; someone will snatch her up if we don't hurry. C'mon, let's just… fuck it all!" Bikky flinched from his eavesdropping place in the living room "Fuck the Chief, fuck work, fuck all the damn write-ups! Let's just go! The three of us!" Bikky thought Dee was on the verge of getting melodramatic, but it did make him feel a little elevated about being included in his exclamations.

"Please…please Ryo…" Bikky heard the sorrow starting to bubble up. _He's really serious._ Bikky thought. Ryo must have noticed too.

_So what he said last night wasn't total bullshit_.

He sighed with exhaustion, indicating they had been talking for a long time "All right Dee, we'll go." Bikky didn't have to be in the kitchen to know Dee was smiling from ear to ear.

In his memory, the whole arrival at Mother Lane's Orphanage was totally blurred out. Bikky vaguely remembered Thomas and the gang greeting him, or at least he thought he did. The things that stuck out were everything about the nursery and everything about that baby. The nursery was quite likely the nicest room in the place. Medium green walls, about ten cribs, a very large attached bathroom, four rocking chairs, the kind that were huge that Bikky always thought were for old farts, and several bookcases of stuffed toys and brightly colored books. The ceilings were high and there was a single very large window with playful curtains hung up. Bikky was wowed right of the bat when he entered, for being a room for babies this was a really tidy place. Then it dawned on him; 'oh yeah, easy to contain and all'.

"You like this room?" Mother Maria beamed

"Yeah." He was still awing then he immediately parted from his foster fathers and started down the row of baby beds, swinging his head back and forth.

"Dare me to tell him she's over here?" Dee said heading to the location he already knew.

"Let him be, Dee." Ryo followed

He made it to the end of the row. The third from the last crib was it. Dee and Ryo followed behind him.

"You remember what she looks like?" Dee asked.

"Barely." Bikky was already snooping into the crib. Inside laid a small plump child, snoozing away. She had a thin layer of dark hair across her scalp and pale, almost porcelain skin. She was asleep on her belly and her closed fist was next to her face. It was a picturesque 'baby moment', Bikky was kind of dumbfounded; those didn't really happen, did they? She shifted in her blankets, yawning. Even Bikky had to admit it was cute. Ryo 'aww'ed at her and scooped her out of the crib.

"Hey there." She wiggled around, waving her fists. "Still sleepy?" she opened her eyes and looked at Ryo in wonder, then immediately she started smiling. Bikky usually got annoyed by the 'toothless baby grin' but not this time though. He was too sucked into her face. Those eyes… he looked back and forth between his foster father and the baby. They were… the _same_? No… it couldn't be, just a coincidence right? And there must be tons of people out there with the same or close to the same eye color. He wondered what kind of parents this baby had, were they an Asian and an American like Ryo's parents?

"Yeah, we came back. We wanted to see you!" Ryo was definitely excited to be here, no matter how much he fought it earlier. The baby still smiled excitedly, starting to wiggle in his arms "Ah, your awake now."

"Aw man," Dee looked over her with proud awe "there's no competition for her, is there Mother?"

"Actually, there is."

All three heads popped up "What?"

"A very nice couple came in earlier this week to look at the children; they seemed very interested in her." Mother continued to rock the infant she had.

"Oh that won't do." Dee took the baby from Ryo "You wanna come home with us, right?" She locked her eyes on him, yup, Ryo's eyes. Bikky could swear to it. "Well," Dee looked to Ryo then back to the baby "_I_ want you to come home with us." He and Ryo shared a look again; one that suggested their conversation about adoption went far deeper than Bikky was aware.

He looked to her and then Dee now and it hit him. This kid…really was part of them. Bikky didn't know what to call it but there was just this familiarity about her, it drew them in. Bikky felt like she was so… close to him, not like he liked her and wanted her around, but like she had been around all along. She just fit into their group. Maybe it was because of all the talking Ryo and Dee did about her, but it seemed like that wasn't it. She seemed attached to him, an equal. Her likeness to Dee and Ryo just sealed the deal. He knew then that no matter what, this kid was coming into their family, whether he liked it or not.


End file.
